Family

I’ve spent over eight months of my life now in Nepal. Whenever I tell this to people who have been there I always get the same look of disbelief, and it always makes me think that maybe I have actually spent too long in that strange little mountain kingdom. The eight months have been shared, rather unevenly, over three visits, and with three being the magic number, I can’t help but feel the third may have also been the final time. That was my intention at least when I went up there from India, to a degree a saying goodbye to the place, but more a few people who will always remain very much in my heart.

With Nepal being so close to India geographically and culturally; it’ll always be compared to it, and this is simply a battle it cannot and will not ever win. If India is ‘same same but different’, then Nepal must be ‘same same but shitter’. It has some very picturesque qualities, but so does India, and although in India people will try and rip you off, they try and rip each other off too which kind of makes it okay. In Nepal they’re just money hungry and greedy with it, but it’s the fact they get annoyed and sulky when you won’t let them cheat you which irritates the most; as if we should because we all have servants back home and we’re in the wrong for not. It doesn’t annoy me as it once did though; I have taken a step back and found myself taking a more amused view on the whole thing, but it has just strengthened my disgust of moneys corrupting values and what it has done to an inherently good people.

And they are a good people, you can see it in their nature, and it is why when money is not involved; I have made some very good connections. I have two families in this world, the one I was born into, and the one which adopted me. Many moons ago on my very first day arriving in Pokhara; I ate some mashed potato in a little restaurant called The Laughing Buddha. My life would never be the same again. Here a family work by day and sleep by night, and rightfully complain about both these things. I spent so much of my time there on my first visit that I became part of the furniture, and in time; part of the family too. Towards the end of my first spell I was being given free cups of tea, the second free food, and by the third I was so much part of the machine I was peeling potatoes and serving food; to both earn my free dinner and just help them out because I wanted to.

My last full day with them was taken up with the Depvali celebrations; a festival as important to Hindu’s as Christmas is to Christians and to Capitalists. It is in honour of the brother, so sisters perform the ceremony; sprinkling water around you and then rubbing oil into you before giving you ‘tika’; the mark on your third eye (your forehead). I was involved in this last year but this time it felt slightly different, as if I really was part of the whole procedure, and I realised then that I was actually part of the family, whatever that may entail. I don’t know when I will return to Nepal, if ever, but if one day I do find myself in that slow, corrupt little place; I know I will put all my effort into doing one thing and it won’t be paying a fortune for the honour of walking up a mountain, it will be to find my Buddha family. I will then commiserate with Imran and Nira about how hard life is, kick Prakash’s idle arse and make sure Rekha is working hard at school and hasn’t been married off to some lazy Nepali by Nira for a few rupees. Ah Nepali life.

But to talk of only one family in Pokhara; would do disservice to another. While The Laughing Buddha became my Nepali home, another one came together from many different countries, continents and cultures, but which was equally strong and open. Thanks to a beautiful Brazilian couple I met first in Varanasi; I was introduced to a group consisting of Brazilians; Germans; Turks; Japanese; French; Indians; Portuguese; Americans and Argentineans. It was an eclectic mix, where bonds were made first at a festival over hallucinogens and a show of solidarity in the face of greed, and then at a guest house; which became our home as we took it over cooking together, living together and ultimately being in harmony together. It was a perfect environment to live in and despite the fact I was tired of Pokhara itself; because of them I didn’t want to leave.

I realised given a bit of creativity things can be reused with a simply needle and thread, that vegan food can actually be really good, that I can be around people smoking a lot and despite it being tempting; not need to be involved in the smoking to not only enjoy myself but to be a part of something, that drinking your own piss only results in partial insanity, and finally that everything can be shared and everyone will always get what they need. I travel to learn and to experience, and while I naturally get both those things from the countries I visit and the local people, this was just confirmation that anyone and everyone around you has something to offer and plays the part they are there to play. Whether you want to cook, be the chai wallah, build the fire, take charge or simply sit back, observe and let people get on with what it is they want to do; people can live together and they can live together in harmony doing it. Of course long term who can say what would happen but in the time I was there, with them, these people showed me nothing but openness and love, and they will always be in my heart for it.

I wasn’t sure about going back to Nepal again but I am really glad I did, and although I may be tired of Nepal itself, it has provided me with a lot, be that experience, learning or simply people never to forget. I hope I see them all again someday, wherever and whenever that may be