A Little Rebirth

It’s not that I’ve lost the urge to write, or lost the inspiration to come up with ideas, and it’s not that I’ve just become idle, but I’ve not been overly interested in writing another piece on here for these last few weeks, and as a result, well I guess I just haven’t. I am a believer though that if you leave something too long it becomes more difficult to get back into doing it again; the whole falling off a bike thing to a degree you could say, it’s also a handy way of killing time while my washing soaks.

Much has happened these last 3-4 weeks. I’ll go into more detail on it when I write up India as a whole but I’ll throw in a few things now. The last piece I wrote was from beautifully picturesque and cool Sikkim, just what I needed after the sweltering suffering of Calcutta; so I spent only four days there before moving onto swelteringly hot Bodhgaya. Now Bodhgaya is a special place, not only for Buddhists; as it’s the place Gautam Siddhartha experienced enlightenment under a tree and became The Buddha, but for future Williamists too, as it’s the place I was reborn. I did say a great deal had happened.

When I wrote the last piece, all I said was true, and everything still stands, but it was a slightly defiant happiness I was feeling, I was still suffering slightly. In Bodhgaya though, with the heat, I could feel myself slipping back down the same path as in Calcutta but this time with no illness as an excuse. To prevent this, and to regain a little fitness after the feebleness lying down for three weeks results in, I decided to get fit. I started with going for walks for at least an hour everyday, which I discovered is actually a great way to explore a place, I got back into my yoga and perish the thought; enjoyed it and still am, and I even found myself doing some doing some push-ups of all things, evidently desperate times. At that point I was anorexically emaciated and I needed to emancipate myself from this feeble skin and bones I had become, and this I saw as the only way. It was not easy and took much effort to do any of this but now three weeks later I’m finding it much easier and am actually enjoying all these things, I’ve even found a stone to lift like a weight, and as I’m now in Varanasi; the walks are one of my favourite times of the day, often lasting up to three hours as I bear witness to the crazy.

I also had to push myself through that mental suffering in Bodhgaya too. Not only the part trying to be idle, but the part which was going a little insane from the heat and the bit which was still not completely over the tired miserable emotions previously felt. With the insanity issue I just decided not to worrying and thoroughly embraced it, which was great fun, and this also helped in me regaining the ‘love’ which I thought I had lost. I saw that I had been fighting India the previous month, and it had led to my suffering, but I fully embraced it just like I did at first and I remembered what it was I loved about the place, myself and life; a good thing to remember I like to think.

So there I was in Bodhgaya. I was back on the road to recovery of both body and mind; I really felt alive again, like I had been reborn. And then I got the urge to move. It was weird how it happened, it coincided with the new moon, and this I assure you was not intentional. On the last day of the previous moon cycle I suddenly got the urge it was time to move on, and the following day on the new moon I woke up and realised that while the body may have still been in Bodhgaya, the heart and mind no longer was. I paid up, said goodbye to some police officers of all people who had befriended me, fed me and let me hold their guns, and went straight to the train station; next stop Varanasi and the next phase of my new life. Two weeks later and I’m further from describing this place than I was when I arrived, but I can feel it, and it feels good.